Just to be fair: this is a very long post following a very stressful week. And it may be that I am writing it mostly to help me let out a little stress in a proactive manner.
As you can see from our blog title, the thundering trio are the center of our universe and, in our opinion, the best kids that have ever existed. We are eternally grateful to have the opportunity to be their parents. Each of them has a unique personality with many strengths. Heavenly Father must have known our kids really needed to be great to survive Shawn! Being a parent provides many challenges (understatement of the week) that differ from child to child. These challenges are worth it as we know they will often lead to what is best for your child.
How is all of this relevant to "Veda's Very Bad No Good Week"? Well, Jaxon is heading to kindergarten in 3 very short days. As a parent (mother in particular) this is a huge transition that comes with a wide array of emotions. For us this transition has been even rockier than normal. As many of you know, Jax has mild/moderate hearing loss in both ears. We found out about the possibility of hearing loss hours after his birth. Hearing tests are given as quickly as possible (long process since the newborn has to be asleep!). Fortunately, California has a very aggressive approach to education for children with hearing loss and by age 3 months we were receiving services and at 5 months he had his first hearing aids. We went through a variety of doctors and tests to assure there was nothing else we were missing and to see if it was possible to identify the cause of the hearing loss (no on both accounts). At this point in time we are not sure of the reason for the hearing loss.
For the past five years (and we expect for the rest of his life), we have been active parents making sure we did everything to ensure his education as well as social success. By age 4 his language was so good we were able to discontinue speech/language services. He is doing so well that most people do not believe he has hearing loss (and it does make us laugh when people ask if we are sure that he needs hearing aides). He has learned to adapt and is a lot more visual (reads lips) than what we think.
We have been especially focused on preparing him for Kindergarten. We wanted to make sure we did everything possible to set him up for success. We have a great audiologist and SLP support system. We have heard great things about Ellen Smith and the new principal. We were also following a little girl that was a year ahead of Jaxon so we felt that would help pave the way. No raised flags!
One day when we were at a school function we ran into the principal and asked if it would be possible to have Jax assigned to the teacher who was currently working with the girl we were following. She told us that she doesn't do teacher requests. I asked if this even applied for children with special needs. She reiterated, no. We were disappointed, but continued to hope for the best. Several weeks later we requested a 504 transition meeting the first of March (the title of this has reference to the law that covers classroom accommodations for special needs). The school's reply was just let us get through state testing. We found this perfectly reasonable. We did not meet until another 2 months later and we had to prompt them again in order to get this meeting. Overall the meeting went alright. Although, any time we expressed a concern the principal jumped in with a set answer (e.g., all of our teachers are great with children with hearing loss.....). We started to feel very concerned with the way the principal was communicating with us!
We heard from several credible resources that we would get the requested teacher. The sources both claimed that our initial discussion with the principal had just caught her at a bad moment and when there were other parents around. We felt better and thought maybe we were reading a bit more into the situation. We were careful not to get Jaxon's hopes up to much for this teacher (thank goodness).
Last Friday the school lists were posted and we are all excited to see who Ashlin & Jaxon's teacher would be. Ironically enough Ashlin got the teacher she wanted and Jaxon did not get the teacher we requested Sigh...... Frustration..... Tears....... All of this compounded by the fact that we cannot let Jaxon know we are upset! Jaxon turned to Ashlin & asked if his assigned teacher would be nice. Ashlin being the great big sister reassured him she was very nice. Big thanks to Ashlin for helping make a stressful situation better.
Following this, we emailed the audiologist and she said that she would call us on Monday. The teacher called on Saturday afternoon and invited us to her class Meet & Greet. I asked her about the 504 meeting with the activity teachers (e.g., art, music) and to review his accommodations. She sat there for a moment and said...."Uh I will have to talk to the principal.". Another warning flag! This is very important to us as this is part of the 504 plan that has to be followed from a legal standpoint. Monday, the Nurse calls and requests a meeting between her and the audiologists. I of course agree and asked once again if we can have the activity teachers there. The nurse asked if this meant the PE teacher and I replied that, yes, it means ALL of the teachers that will work with Jax. Shortly after this I get an email with a request from the audiologist for a meeting on Thursday at the school. Of course I agree.
Still concerned about the situation, I decide to send the principal an email asking if she might reconsider his placement. The worst case is that she says no and the best case she says yes. Shawn edited my email to make sure that it would not be interpreted as defensive and I even had my Director read it. She said that if she was a parent she would send it. So, off it went. Then I spent the rest of the day worried if this was the right thing to do.
Monday evening we went to the meet and greet with the assigned kindergarten teacher. Jaxon was such a big boy and so excited to go. He followed all of the directions and he even has a friend in his class (little blessings that go along way). The teacher walked up and asked if we had brought the transmitter for his FM system. Once again, this was covered in the 504 plan that clearly states that the school will provide the transmitter portion of the FM system. Another sigh of frustration.
Thursday morning rolled around and we arrive at the school for the meeting. The audiologists, his assigned teacher, and the nurse are present, but none of the other kindergarten or activity teachers. We get the meeting started and they mention that there was no activity teacher because they were busy in their room getting them ready. Are we alright with this? Not really. In the spring we agreed that it would be best to meet with all of the teachers before the start of the school and this was written into the 504 plan. So, after the meeting we ended up walking around and meeting each teacher individually. This turned out to be very beneficial as we could answer their questions. Of course, each teacher had the same question that could have been answered in a single meeting. The audiologists were also able to check the teacher's sound systems. We were able to provide additional information regarding Jaxon. Specifically, for PE he will carry his hearing aide bag to class in the event he needs to take his hearing aids out due to more rough and tumble activity. We were also able to talk to his assigned teacher and start to feel much more comfortable with her as well.
Mid way through the meeting the principal walks in and says, "Sorry, I am late. I just can't multi task anymore." We were quite taken aback about how unprofessional her arrival was. She walked out quickly afterwards to warn the teachers we would be coming by. Remember the email I sent on Monday? Well she never responded during the week or even mentioned it during our visit. Last night, Shawn sent an email to the teacher thanking her for her time (also to the audiologist did not include the principal). He gave her our email address where we can keep the communication open as a means to problem solve things very quickly and cc'ed it to to the audiologist & the principal. The teacher responded within about an hour! We were very impressed. The principal also responded back first thing this morning (Friday). You can imagine my frustration. Shawn's e-mail gets a quick reply, but mine gets no response. Our distrust for her continues to grow with each interaction.
Last night was the Back to School Bash for the Arkansas Hands and voices (a group for hearing impaired children & their families) at jump zone. We had a great time being able to be around families with our same challenges. One of the parents reported having the same issues with the principal and enjoying the same emotional roller coaster ride we did this week. The only difference is they assigned her child to a brand new teacher with no knowledge if she had any experience with hearing impaired children (once again blessings in disguise the teacher had but told her the principal was not aware of this). Also, the audiologist encourages the principal to include some students from the previous grade in the new class in order to provide some "stability" as the children transition. There are zero students from the other child's kindergarten class in the new class.
We are definitely seeing a pattern of behavior! From our perspective, there is no regard given to the best placement of children with hearing loss. We now face the decision how best to move forward. Do we grin and bear it because we now feel comfortable with his placement and have a plan in place? The problem is that this is only his first year and we have 3 more years in this school. We feel from our experience as well as other parents that she does not make the best choice for the child. Do we speak up for other parents that might be in our shoes later on? Do we send her a letter? Do we send the superintendent a letter? Every position I have held since graduating with my master's I have advocated for individuals with disabilities. Now I find myself at a loss at how to be the best advocate for my son!
Well that's it. My long explanation why, if you been around me this week, you would have noticed that I have been slightly grouchy. And I am sure you all just assumed that it was something Shawn did. 99% of the time you would be right, but this time he can happily say that it is someone else's doing!
